Roles (Part III)

I ended my last blog post at a place where I was not living confidently out the identity I knew the Lord had placed on my life. This will be my final post on what the Lord has been teaching me about roles, and the truth He used to remind me of His faithfulness in the midst of my faithlessness. (2 Timothy 2:13)

It took a trip to Nashville and a phone call with a good friend to help me see the answer to why I was feeling so insecure. While in Nashville I had a conversation with a Forge sister of mine, Jessica, whom I respect beyond words, about the complacency we had seen in our lives over the past year. Toward the end of the conversation she spoke boldly to me about the ways she had seen me live out of my identity confidently and the trust she had in the plans the Lord has for me.

Follow up that conversation with an encouraging phone call from my dear friend Hunter Beless, whom I also love and respect immensely. It was comforting to hear a woman I respect so deeply resonate with me on the difficulty that comes with living out who you are when you don't think you are being enabled to do so. By the end of those two conversations, I had both realized the error of my ways and been reminded of foundational truth from two incredible, Godly women. The Lord is gracious. 

Looking back on the past year I began to see that I had shifted from relying on my God-given identity to relying on the roles that I was filling to determine my identity. I almost think it was a subconscious occurrence. I became so focused on being the best wife, the best waitress, the best student, the best nanny—and to make sure others perceived me that way—that I lost sight of the mission the Lord gave me 3 years ago. He had revealed the gifts He has given me and put on my heart the need for growth and teaching within the church and within our generation of women, and yet I had lost confidence in those gifts and that calling simply because the roles in my life didn’t necessarily, in my deceived mind, use them.

I had become complacent.

I had forgotten the truth I mentioned in my first post on this topic, that who I am determines what I do, not the other way around. I had lost confidence in my identity as a redeemed bride and ambassador for Christ because I did not “feel” like the roles in my life aligned with that identity. Instead of seeing my roles as an opportunity to display my gifts and bless/equip/teach/serve those in my life, I placed my worth in those titles and roles. What a dangerous road, when we begin seeing our worth or identity in the things we do. 

Thank our gracious Lord that He has already started the process of defeating and replacing the lies of inadequacy (which Satan had so craftily woven) through His Word, through this blog, through my husband and friends. I share this in hopes that if you are battling the same feelings of inadequacy, you will be encouraged to remember who you are, who the Lord has created you to be, and be confident that wherever He may have you is exactly where He sees you most useful for His Kingdom. And He is a God worthy of trust. 

“The stiff and wooden quality about our religious lives is a result of our lack of holy desire. Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth. Acute desire must be present or there will be no manifestation of Christ to His people.” –A.W. Tozer

“For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for His name in serving the saints, as you still do. And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness to have the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.” –Hebrews 6:10-12