Psalm 18 - In My Own Words.

I have been challenged this semester to learn how to meditate on Scripture. 

The first time I heard this, I imagined myself sitting with my legs crossed and eyes closed thinking really really hard about a verse in the Bible I had read...and I thought that was weird. But I have been corrected in my understanding of meditation. For one, I didn't realize that the Lord commanded this of us in multiple places: 

"This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it." -Joshua 1:8

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." - Psalm 19:14 

 There are many more within Scripture telling us to dwell on, meditate on, think about the Word of God. But how? Well, today I tried one particular method that my professor, Dr. Donald Whitney, taught us in class from his book, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life. 

I read a Psalm and then put the Psalm into my own words. Specifically, I read Psalm 18. The outcome was a beautiful reminder of what the Lord has done in my life in short 3 years, and the pure salvation I have experienced through Him. I wanted to document this to serve as a reminder to me and anyone else who reads it of the powerful redemption of our God, and to serve as an example of how you can spend time dwelling on one passage in Scripture. 

Read Psalm 18 either before, after, or side by side with this entry...it'll make more sense that way! 

Psalm 18

My Lord is my rock. My refuge.

A mighty fortress is our God.

The cords of death encompassed me;

in my sin the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called upon the Lord;

to my God I called for help.

From His temple He heard my voice,

my cry to Him reached His ears.

And He answered me. In power He came,

the foundations trembled and quaked,

because He was angry.

A righteous, powerful anger for His chosen daughter,

crying out for His rescue.

He sent from on high, He took me;

He drew me out of the water that was encompassing me.

He rescued me from my strong enemy,

for satan and sin were too mighty for me.

He rescued me, because He delighted in me.

And now, the Lord deals with me according to my righteousness,

a righteousness not earned through what I do,

but through the sacrifice of His Son.

The perfect sacrifice.

No longer must I pay for my sins sacrifice after sacrifice

after sacrifice to earn my Lord’s forgiveness.

He gave us the perfect, ultimate sacrifice through Christ.

Through Him we are forgiven. (Romans 5:12-21)

Now He deals with me according to the cleanness of my hands.

For by grace, through Christ, I am now blameless before Him

and able to keep myself from guilt.

With the merciful, You show Yourself merciful;

with the blameless, You show Yourself blameless;

with the purified, You show Yourself pure.

I am these things because You have made me so.

For it is You who light my lamp;

the Lord my God lightens my darkness.

This God - His way is perfect;

the Word of the Lord proves true;

He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him.

For who is God, but the Lord?

And who is a rock, except our God--

The God who equips me with strength

and makes my way blameless?

You’ve equipped me; bow, shield, and armor (Ephesians 6:11-18)

to fight this war with sin that  wages against my soul (1 Peter 2:11).

With You, the battle is won.

The Lord lives, and blessed be my rock,

and exalted be the God of my salvation--

the God who delivered me from my enemy.

I will praise You, O Lord, among this nation and others

and sing Your Name and tell of the 

great salvation You bring to Your people.

I Spent My Day Wasting Time.

How many days can I say that about? Unfortunately the amount is beyond my ability to recall or number. TV shows, movies, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pet Saga, internet browsing, long naps. The list goes on of things I allow to fill my time. And by fill I mean waste. Looking at the way I spend a lot of my time, you would think I was created to find the best way to be comfortable, entertained, and happy. I’ve allowed the culture I live in to tell me that I deserve:

rest (which is true, rest is needed, but what the general culture would call rest, really is just laziness) 

time to myself (aka selfishness) 

and whatever I want to make me happy (aka pride, gluttony, idolatry, etc.)

Instead of doing what I have been created to do--make disciples of the One God who created this world (Matthew 29:19-20), live a life holy and blameless before Him (Ephesians 1:4), and share with the world the incredible redemption I have experienced that has given true and pure freedom (Romans 8:1-2)--I’m busy wishing Tony and Ziva would get married, or wondering if the BAU is going to catch the bad guy…again, or trying to save 9 pets and get 30,000 points so I can move to level 46. 

I mean…what? WHAT?! When I take a minute to sit back and think about my Lord, who has the salvation of the world on His heart and the urgency of that salvation in the forefront of His mind, seeing me spend hours a day serving myself and wasting time when He has given me the command to join Him in His mission…I mean…I’m ashamed. When I ask myself, "Do I live out what I was literally created and designed to do?" My response is: Sometimes. Kind of.

Sometimes. Kind of. Imagine what those answers would produce in our world today.

- Does your phone work like it should? Sometimes? Take it back.

- Is your food hot when it comes out at the restaurant? Kind of? Send it back.

- Is the toy you bought your grandbaby working? Sometimes? Take it back and exchange it for a new one that will work.

You get my point.

The culture that I live in has taught me that if something doesn’t perfectly fulfill its purpose and meet the expectation you have placed on it, it’s not worth your time or effort. Get rid of it. Take it back. Get a new one. So when I sit here and realize that I am a creation that is not only beat up and broken in places, but that is literally not doing the very thing I was created to do…I weep. I fear. I become defiant. I rebel. I become defensive. Why?

            Because I’m expecting my Creator to give up on me.

I’m expecting God to look at me and sigh in frustration. I’m expecting Him to look at the ways I am wasting the gift of redemption, time, and life He has given to me and say, “Give me a new one, this one is broken”. Because in all honesty, that’s what I would do. And that’s what this world tells me I would have the right to do.

But, praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, my God is not of this world. 

My God, the Creator of this world, can look upon His creation, despite the worlds corruption and the scars of sin, and call me His child (Romans 8:21), His wonderful creation (Psalm 139:14), His beloved (Colossians 3:12). Why? Because when I come before Him, I come bought and claimed by His Son, Jesus, who died—“the righteous for the unrighteous” (1 Peter 3:18)—so that my sin could not only be forgiven but cleansed before Him (1 John 1:9). I do not have to fear rejection by God because He has literally told me that He cannot and will not ever give up on me!

“He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?...Christ Jesus is the One who died—more than that who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?...For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." ( Romans 8:32, 34-35, 38-39)

My security rests in Christ Jesus, who sits beside the Lord interceding for me (even when I’m sitting, wasting my time). Because of Christ, the Lord does not look down in disgust and toss me aside. Instead He looks on me with a love I can never separate from and sends me a Helper who can equip me and teach me to live the life I was created to live (John 14:26) despite my sinful desire not to at times. I am no longer a slave to my self-serving sin, therefore I am able to spend the majority of my time seeking to serve my Lord and others, not myself. Praise be to God.

((Disclaimer: Please know that I am not intending to condemn all forms of entertainment, including those listed in this post, but instead to challenge myself and my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to reflect on both the time spent and the motivation behind said entertainment.))

The Story of Wilda and Tuck.

Mitchell and I celebrated our 1-year wedding anniversary yesterday! I wanted to do a blog post to set up a reminder of the sweet, redemptive, Gospel-reflecting marriage the Lord has placed me in. I decided to do this both through pictures and by sharing the vows the two of us wrote and made exactly one year and one day ago with the Lord and with one another. 

So, allow me to share the story of Wilda and Tuck.

Mitchell and I began our relationship as friends...a goofy and (as most of you would attest) somewhat awkward friendship...

After a year this friendship flourished into a fun dating relationship, long distance (for a year) and together in College Station (whoop!).

A year and a half later this happened...

And 9 months of engagement followed!

And then we got married. (and danced!)

And now here we are! One year into marriage. What a story. Of course, there is so much in between those big events; so much learning and refinement, tears and rejoicing and growth. I think the past 4 years are best wrapped up into the vows Mitchell and I wrote for one another on our wedding day. They encompass the depth of the promise of unconditional, steadfast love that we have for one another, and more importantly the absolute reliance we have on the Lord to walk in that love. I'll let them speak for themselves :)

Mitchell: 

"I, Mitchell Cannon Hartt, with great honor take you, Lindsey Jo Letbetter, to be my beautiful bride. I will uphold this oneness by devotedly seeking our God as my primary love, that I may love you fully. In the same manner with which Christ loves the church and humbly gave himself up for her, so will I vow to lay down my life for you. I vow to honor, serve, and protect you. I will strive to continually remember our marriage as a thriving example of the Lord's love for us. I promise you my purposeful and steadfast love throughout whatever life may bring. I will remain faithful to you. I will not divorce you. Death alone will separate us." 

Me:

"I, Lindsey Jo Letbetter, take you, Mitchell Cannon Hartt, to be my husband. On the foundation of grace, I promise to follow you and humbly submit to your leadership. I will love and respect you regardless of circumstance or condition, just as the Church loves Christ. I promise to keep the Lord as my primary love, to be faithful to you, and to never divorce you. I will serve as a reminder to you of the man our Lord has designed you to be and the Gospel which has redeemed and restored us both. I promise to walk this life together with you, Mitchell, 'til death do us part."  

There are times that I look at those vows and think, "Man. That is BOLD." And it is. Those are bold words that we promised one another. But I have learned day after day that the only reason we are able to promise that kind of love is because that is the kind of love that has saved us both. We love each other through the love God has shown us, period. There is no other way for our marriage to succeed.

"For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that One has died for all, therefore all have died, and He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who, for their sake, died and was raised." -2 Corinthians 5:14

Today I am so thankful that the Lord chose to redeem Mitchell and I both, and has given us the opportunity to reflect that love within our marriage and to the world. Hopefully this serves as a reminder to all that we ARE capable of unconditional, steadfast love through the power of Christ's love, which controls us. Praise God for that foundation of grace. 

P.S.

 Farmers Market and Stoney Creek yesterday to celebrate!

THE END! 

Righteousness

3 years ago I became a disciple of Christ during an 8-month discipleship program called The Forge. (This story is coming...I promise!) I thought, coming into the program, that I absolutely was a Christian, and absolutely knew the Gospel. But it wasn't until I began actually studying the Word of God and lived in a community of intentional discipleship and teaching that I realized I was mistaken...I actually did not understand the Gospel and most certainly had not been living the life of follower of Jesus Christ.

My Forge class!

So once that truth sank in and the Lord revealed to me the mysteries of His Gospel, I immediately set my mind to learning how to "walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which (I) had been called" (Ephesians 4:1). I spent the remainder of my year at The Forge having hard conversations, repenting of past sin, welcoming refinement through fire (1 Peter 1:6-7) and attempting to walk in obedience in all manner of life. This went along with ups and downs, but overall fairly well (it always seems to when you're surrounded by love and encouragement from fellow believers 24/7) up until graduation, and I, along with my Forge brothers and sisters, left STOKED to live out of this deep understanding of the identity the Lord had given to us (1 Peter 2:9).

 The final days of the Forge, displaying the now understood identities for each of us individually!

Alas, there was one concept that I had a misconstrued definition of, and it took quite some time for me to realize and, more importantly, rewrite this error. The word I was mistaken about was

Righteousness. 

Unknown to myself at the time, I had a very worldly definition of this word, as I'm sure many of you can relate to. In short, to live righteously in my mind was to "do the right thing". Makes sense, right? This article gives a great example by comparing the world's definition of righteousness to our law enforcement. Police officers could care less why you obey the law, as long as you do, right? Simply do what is right, and you're good, you've lived a "righteous" life. But as the article goes on to explain, Christ redefined this definition of righteousness when he highlighted the heart and motivation behind the action in Matthew 5 during the Sermon on the Mount. It is here that Christ makes the bold claim,

"...everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28) and "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment" (Matthew 5:21-22). 

It is here that He is demanding a transformation of the heart just as much as a transformation in actions. If Christ simply wanted obedience, He would have been satisfied with the Pharisees. But He wasn't. He demanded a righteousness that, quite honestly, within ourselves we are unable to fulfill. That is why Paul quotes Psalms 14 and 53 in the book of Romans, to highlight our inability to fulfill this righteousness on our own. "For we have already charged that all, both Jews and Greeks, are under sin, as it is written, 'None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God'" (Romans 3:9-13).

Sounds kind of hopeless, doesn't it?

But, as we know, there is always hope in the Gospel. I found hope when I realized that my righteousness was not dependent on, nor defined by, my actions. Instead it is dependent on the already accomplished actions of Christ! "For as by one man's disobedience (Adam) the many were made sinners, so by the one man's obedience (Christ) the many will be made righteous" (Romans 5:19). I realized that when I became a disciple of Christ, I took on the identity of His holy people (1 Peter 1:14-16, 2:9), and now have been made righteous in the sight of God! Do you see? When the Lord now looks at me He does not see me as a sinner separated from Him, but because Christ walked in obedience (obedience even to death-Philippians 2:8) He now sees Christ and HIS righteousness in me! Whew. Talk about hope...and excitement....and relief. 

So to summarize all of this up, here is the truth that brings peace. I am righteous because the Lord calls me righteous, and now I am able to live out of that identity instead of striving to attain it. What a difference this makes, when we accept that we do not have to earn His salvation, love or mercy, but instead live our lives in obedience as an outflow of the identity He has mercifully placed upon us. Praise the Lord, o my soul. (Psalm 103)

Singleness

There is a woman I know, her name is Kimberly Ginnings, and it would take an entire blog post to explain all of the reasons why I both love and deeply respect her. But luckily, she has a blog, and you can all see for yourself exactly why I do.

Recently she wrote a blog post on singleness that I think is absolutely fantastic. She very accurately conveys the beauty and importance of living life in community throughout your singleness, as vulnerably and purposefully as you can. Read it and other blogs on singleness by her here. I promise you will be deeply blessed.

Back to Pine Cove!

Whew! It's been quite the eventful past week or two! I was given the opportunity to head back to Texas last Saturday! (insert expected gasp from those of you living in Texas at the moment)...Don't be angry with me. I was there for a very specific reason and had a super limited time-frame, so didn't really let anyone know I was there! I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. :)

And why was I there? So cool. I was given the opportunity to interpret for a friend's daughter that I used to nanny at the camp I have worked at in the past, Pine Cove! For those of you who don't know, I was a nanny last semester for this precious family:

And I had the really great opportunity to expand my use of sign language learning from their mom, Jenn, and from time spent with their daughter, Ella, who is 9. I was so excited when Pine Cove agreed to work with the family and figure out how Ella could come to camp even though she couldn't communicate with those around her. Insert my past with Pine Cove and my ability to communicate with Ella, and after a few months of figuring out the details, Ella and I headed to Week 10 at the Pine Cove Towers!

Getting ready for the first theme night: Pitch Black Attack!

One thing is certain at Pine Cove, you always end up learning some kind of lesson while you're there. I knew this would be true of this week as well...I had been close to tears begging the Lord to enable me to communicate well with Ella and help her feel loved and comfortable at camp. My signing skills are nothing to brag about, and I knew it would be difficult interpreting everything that goes on at camp. I am humbled yet again that He has chosen me to be one of His children who can proclaim the truth that He is faithful and hears our prayers. He loved Ella well this week not only through me but through the girls in her cabin and her precious, loving, gentle counselor, ReMoose. (We have weird camp names at Pine Cove...it's fine.)

I was blessed to watch the Lord teach myself and others how to show love in a multitude of ways, especially when I saw precious 9 and 10 year olds reaching out to welcome Ella in, and Ella opening up to do the same. The Lord reminded me deeply what it is like to put yourself in positions where you 100% have to rely on Him for strength, influence, even communication.

"So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth." -1 Corinthians 3:7

Amen and amen.

After camp I was able to go home for a day to spend some quick time with the fam! So blessed. I LOVED seeing and cooking with my precious niece and nephew, not to mention everyone else :)

So there you have it! Now I am back in Louisville with my hubby--which I was beyond ready for! I came home to this beautiful surprise that he had made while I was gone...what a creative man! LOVE IT. Loosely translated it says, "Blessed are You, Lord God, King of the heavens, Giver of bread from the earth". Awesome.

And now I want to leave you with a video of a song I learned and signed all week. The Lord used it as a sweet reminder that He is able to do great things, and allows me to be a part of it. :)

Christian and Apollyon

I've heard of the book The Pilgrim's Progress multiple times in my life, but I've never taken the time to sit down and read it. This is no longer true, since it is on my syllabus for my Personal Spiritual Disciplines course I am taking in the fall. So, to get a head start I have begun the book, and am loving it so far. It's a blatant allegory about the life of a Christian and the trials he/she may face.

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I just read a scene that made me want to pump my fist in the air and say, "Heck. Yes." So I thought I would share. :)

Christian (main character) has been on his journey to the City of Zion for quite some time. He has endured trials, climbed the mountain of Difficulty, has been shown truth, and is now descending into the Valley of Humiliation. While there he comes across a beast named Apollyon (Revelation 9:11 -- "the destroyer" or "satan"), who attempts to persuade him to return to his hometown, the City of Destruction, and return under his lordship. Christian refuses multiple times, until finally Apollyon falls into a rage against him, and begins pounding him with flaming darts (Ephesians 6:16).

Fortunately, Christian had been given armor at the top of the mountain of Difficulty (Ephesians 6:10-20), so he was able to shield himself from the darts. Apollyon was not dissuaded, and continually attacked him over and over, until Christian "grew weaker and weaker" (59). Then Apollyon "espying his opportunity, began to gather up close to Christian" and delivered such a blow as to knock Christian's sword from his hand and put him on the ground, so that Christian "began to despair of life" (59). ((Don't worry guys, the fist pump will come soon...)

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Just as Apollyon was getting ready to make his final blow, Christian "nimbly reached out his hand for his Sword, and caught it, saying, 'Rejoice not against me, O mine Enemy! When I fall, I shall arise'" (59) and with that gave a deadly thrust which caused Apollyon to stumble backward. Christian seized this opportunity shouting, "Nay, in all these things we are more than Conquerors, through Him that loved us!" (60) and Apollyon spread his wings and quickly fled from Christian. (**insert fist pump and HECK. YES!**)

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Favorite. Christian defeated Apollyon (satan) with the "Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God" (Ephesians 6:17). Here are the scriptures he quoted against Apollyon (the Micah verse is AWESOME).

"But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me." -Micah 7:7-8

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." -Romans 8:35, 37

Praise God that He has equipped us with the means to resist and defeat our foe, the devil. We have the power through His Spirit and His Word to conquer daily that which has already been conquered through the death of Christ. This is why it is IMPERATIVE that we KNOW the truth that we claim to believe, why we have no excuse to not commit scripture to memory and have a relationship with His living and active Word (Hebrews 4:12). Otherwise, how do we expect to battle satan when he strikes? Note I said "when", not "if". What a great reminder for us all to daily arm ourselves with the Word of God.

"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen." --1 Peter 5:8-11 

Ephesians 2:1-10

I dwelt on this scripture today while being a part of the Lord's Supper at our church. What a sweet, sweet reminder of what the Lord saved us from, and how He went about doing it. 

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. 4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."